Karl Pilkington Quotes

Karl Pilkington Quotes: If you're worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I'd say your life's pretty good
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.
It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.
The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much.
A block of blood should not have the word
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says.
The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere.
They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it.
If an animal is named after what it eats, how interesting is it?
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
My brain's just full of passwords.